What do I do to escape when life overwhelms me. I used to cry, get angry, feel like crawling out of my skin. Basically go crazy.

Now I walk. I listen to music while I walk. If I need to let go of emotion I listen to songs that mirror the emotion. I used to steer clear of songs that would amplify the emotions I am feeling, but now I find it helps. I listen, I cry, I talk to myself and try to find a place of logic.

I walked up my favourite hill today to watch the sunset. I cried on my way to the top. I walked past a bench placed halfway up the hill for a very well known member of the community that passed away last year.  I cried as I realise that there will be no bench for me from a loving husband of 30+ years. I’ve made peace with that. I’m no longer interested in getting married. Not for a third time at least. When I reached the top my tears were done and the sunset was magical. I chatted with my Mom and aunts. I cherished the view and laid down on the bench on top of the hill. I escaped. I have great expectations.  I’m at peace.