New Beginnings

Emotional roller-coaster of love and lust


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Broken Heart?

It broke my heart

From the start?

 

It broke in four

 

One piece a man, a best friend

Destroying me with comfort

No work to him

A piece of heart effortlessly

crumbled…

 

Two for two.

Once close as two can be

but a fork in the road I see

A piece broken slowly

for a long time

 

Third time lucky they say

But luck ran out so soon

Maybe never even room

A piece bent ; not quite broken

yet…

 

 

Fourth I broke myself

Not believing all there is

to believe in

 

Like a wound

the heart will heal

 

I’m not sure

how I feel


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Love yourself

Learn to love yourself

and all the love

you’ll ever need

 

Is right here

Inside of you

 

Learn to respect yourself

and all the acceptance

you crave

 

Is right here

Inside of you

 

Learn to give yourself

and all the reward

you receive

 

Is right here

Inside of you

 

Don’t lose yourself

Do not get lost in others

The “one” you seek

 

Is right here

It’s you ♥

 


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Expanse

expanse

 

 

The full moon draws a kind of a melancholic madness from my soul.  I long for something that has no name.

Before, I would shy away from it. Pack it in a closet and try to lock the door. Now I embrace it and let it take me where it wants to.

Tonight I’m mesmerized by its beauty. A satellite in the sky…

I believe it has a lot to do with the amount of water in our bodies and maybe the water in our bodies are subjected to a mini tide…and when the moon is full, we are more vulnerable to the pull of the moon. Or maybe I’m just crazy…I’ve been told that before 🙂

 

Clouds move leisurely past your eye

You touch them with your roundness

The fullness of you casts a light

When we’re full, we stop

Yes, when we are satiated

we stop.

One can love to the fill

Then, no more…

 

We reached the full moon of our love

Oh no love, this is just the start.

 

When the darkness come

We have the starlight

Moon love is not ours

We have the love of the sky

Moon and stars

Sun and rain

An expanse

 


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Emotional abuse

destroyer

Today, when I saw this picture, I was once again reminded of last year and of the absolute confusion, longing and desperation I experienced.

It is not okay for a man to treat you like a piece of meat, a bank or a convenience.

Please don’t ever forget that. If he doesn’t treat you like he’s won the lottery, then move on!!!

I do believe it takes two to tango. I was so lost, emotionally vulnerable and longing to be loved, that I let a man treat me any way he wanted. And because I went along with it, I am to blame. Is that true? I believe it’s partly true, but manipulative people can give you just enough hope, to keep going back for more. and more. and more emotional abuse.

 


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Storms

storms

No world is without storms

Some pass overhead
Leaving an uneasy mind

Some are over quickly

Others last…

Hailstones batter your being
Lightning strikes at your soul
Thunder troubles your innocence
Flash floods pour from your eyes

Storms will show you
what you’re made of
what we’re made of

Some storms wipe out
leaving you empty
But empty is only another state of
new

A new beginning


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You fooled me

You fooled me

I still think of how

you fooled me

Not only me…many others

How you deceived and conceived

Did you always have a plan?

To hurt me?

To lie to me?

 

You have no idea of the damage

How many tears I cried

How much I loved

How much I cared

Only when some wisdom comes

(which might never come)

you will realise the full extent

of your devious ways

 

Yes, you fooled me


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Passion

They say that you can be alone, even when there are people around you. You can crave for something even when your every need is met. Restless heart, restless spirit. I am not an easy person to live with. I am not an easy person to understand. I go with what I feel 99% of the time. I am ruled by my passion, my feelings. Is this the right way to be? Is right the right word? Is there wrong in living by your passions? I’m not sure. I don’t think it’s the only way to live, but I do believe that my passion keeps my dreams alive. Without my passion I wouldn’t have any fight in me. I wouldn’t have a reason to get up and live. Live to the full. Take risks, look challenges in the eye and say, dammit, I will not give up. I just won’t give up on my dreams. I will never ever underestimate my worth again and settle for bad treatment. For the glass half empty, for the second best a person can give me.  I will not be hurt like I was. I will remember that I’m a fighter. I will know that the passion I feel helps me to help others. I’m passionate about people, especially the ones I love. I will walk through fire for my friends, my loved ones. I will take the clothes off my back and give it to them if they needed it.

I am passion personified. I have always been, I always will be. This is me and I don’t want to deny who I am. I want to embrace it.

 


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It is so

it is so

 

It is so; love speaks

in a thousand tongues

There are many ways

to love

I choose your love

 

It is so; happiness

begins within

not with him

I choose happiness with you

 

It is so that life’s choices

will lead you on many paths

smooth and tough

I choose to face it with you

 

It is so; life is change

It is as constant as the air moving

the sun rising

I choose the way you change me

 

It is so; your love woke me up

It wasn’t planned, nor expected…

But so needed

 

It is so; I love you