New Beginnings

Emotional roller-coaster of love and lust


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Leaf me alone

why do I fall

 

One leaf many leaves

Does one leaf maketh a tree?

He turned right, when he left

Or did he turn left?

He leaves her standing

Why do leaves fall?

Leaving the tree behind

 

But the tree can not run

It stands still

left to make

more leaves… or is it

rights?

For not one leaf

maketh the tree,

what it is.

 

What is it?

A strong, beautiful, breathing, living, wonder

 

 

 


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Parking ticket…booo

If there is one thing I hate the most in this world, it is injustice. Nothing gets my back up like it. When I see people being taken advantage of, or taken for a ride, it just infuriates me.

I have been going to the same movie theatre for a couple of years now and always park in the same parking area. I have never paid for my parking because when I enter my registration details upon departure, it has always come back with 0.00 to pay. So great was my surprise when I received a parking ticket in April for not paying. I contacted the parking company (all via email – no calls) and explained that I have never had to pay and that I never take a receipt as it’s 0.00 charge. Their only response was to send me a photograph of the parking metre showing that a charge of 2.50 is charged every two hours. I definitely stayed more than 2 hours on each occasion, but it always told me 0.00 to pay. I explained this to no avail. The fine was for 100.00 and it just did my head in that I am expected to pay this amount for a charge that I was told is 0.00. I went back and took photos and this time I kept all my 0.00 receipts.

In principle, I refuse to pay this. I appealed and it was rejected, again the same photo of the charges board, used as evidence. On one visit, as I once again stood staring at the charges board, a couple approached and said they received a fine and they can’t for the life of them understand why, because they have always paid nothing after 18h00.

Today I received a letter from a debt recovery agency…the fine has been increased to 160 and if I don’t pay, I’ll be taken to court.

Why I’m writing all this, I would really like to know if I am being unreasonable? Why when the machine tells me I have 0.00 to pay would I give it money? The logic…there is no logic. Sooooo…I’ll be in court one of these days. A new experience for me, but still part of the adventure that is life. In the meantime, I’m accumulating 0.00 receipts…

๐Ÿ™‚


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Calm

I lie on my bed, listening to the fan’s blades slicing through the warm air. I contemplate my life and how much I have changed in the last couple of months. A calmness I can’t quite explain, has become a part of my life, of me.

I consciously made some changes in my life, but a lot of these changes filtered into my subconscious because of the changes I made to my thought processes. I no longer sweat the small stuff. I don’t really get upset anymore. When I find myself in a situation where I feel I might lose control in any of it’s forms, I become aware of my breathing and I slow it down. I tell myself that each one of us, every single one of us on this planet, have our own struggles. Each person has a demon or two to deal with and today, maybe the other person’s demons are dominating them.

So, peace..where is this peace coming from? Acceptance. Only accepting your past for what it was, accepting your present and truly being in it, and accepting that the future is a mystery. ย Nothing is certain. Nothing. Instead of letting that scare me, I accept. I turn the fear of uncertainty into a joy of what exciting untold stories that await. Yes, there will be sadness, regret, disappointment, but I know that the joy, fun and laughter will always shine through.

and I’ll keep breathing, in…out, slowly but surely.

 


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A picture…

It’s said, a picture paints a thousand words. Well, I don’t usually post pictures, personal pictures of me, or even pictures I’ve taken, but I thought that maybe it’s the only way I can “say” how happy I am right now.

I want to get back to writing again, so hopefully I’ll be overflowing with some more positive words in the near future. I do miss writing, a lot.

C u later…

Me happy


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I think

I think…

then that little detail
that little reality
that little act
that little lack
that little disinterest
that little word
that little silence
that little don’t care
that little reminder
that little meaning
that little difference
that little distance
that little affection
that little support
that little innocence
that little “what if”
that little conversation

becomes

big

bigger than it should
bigger than a thought


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If you can’t then..

I went out exploring with my kid yesterday and discovered the most beautiful forest, a pond filled with waterlillies and the old ruins of what looked like pretty big estate from centuries ago.
I started thinking how amazing the world can be right under our noses.

How come it took me ten years to discover this place? I believe that we see what we want to see, or better yet, we see what we expect to see. This is how things are missed. We reach points in our lives where we think, this is it, it doesn’t get any better, or I have found what I’m looking for. But today I implore you, rather think, there is more to discover; my little world is small and I haven’t seen the rest of the world. Think big, look for the small, the inconspicuous, the hidden. This is where the adventure begins ๐Ÿ™‚

P.S. In my opinion, scenes like this started the impressionist art form.

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