Who am I?
What am I?
Am I a body?
Am I a personality?
I’m not too much trouble
I’m easy to talk to
I’m the one that understands
I do, expecting nothing in return
I don’t think about what I want or need
I wake up and it’s too late
I’m invisible
I’m transparent, like the wings of a dragonfly
I am more than the sum of my parts
You charge me up
You make me feel alive
I’m shining
Like a spotlight
Like a star
I want to hold on to this
This high
The one that makes me feel alive
I didn’t know it was you
You are the one
You replenish me
You bring me joy
You share
You open up
Make me shine
Love me
Black: the absence of light
Not a colour
I see my lack of light
On my skin…holes
They let no light in
But they leak
They ooze
Slowly spilling me
Bits of me left behind
People step in it
They slip on it
Some even fall
I’m shrinking
Nothing replacing the lost
No intake, only an outlet
That’s the time I have left
Once I’ve lost it all
My time will be up
Shriveled up
Dried up
Dispersed
Free
Here we are, you’re one of my best friends.
But I’ve come here to say this is the end.
You take that one look into my eyes.
You know me so well, you know this is no lie.
Baby, I promise that I will tell you why,
But you have to promise me, that I wont see you cry.
You say ok, but I know you lied.
Before my first words, I see the water build in your eyes.
I let you know that I never wanted to part.
Why would I? You still have me heart.
I begin to explain the life that I live.
“What they can offer, I can never give.
As much as I try to keep the truth inside,
There’s some things I don’t think I can provide.
I know that I say I love you so much now,
Yet at times I worry if…
View original post 315 more words
I have arrived at a time of nothing. Nothing makes sense, nothing is the same, I feel like nothing I say or do can change it.
I want to talk to someone, yet I know that the one I’ve spoken to before will no longer understand.
So I write, here, to try and make sense of it all.
I am on the brink of realization. I’m not sure if I’m ready for it. When things turn sour in a second. When disappointment becomes so painful that you want to disappear from the world.
When you don’t make it clear what your limits are and someone reaches that limit.. are they to blame or you? Am I to blame for not making it clear how I wish to be treated because I always try and be understanding? I ALWAYS try to understand. Surely there is a logical reason for the actions of others. But maybe there isn’t. Maybe this person was hiding, or maybe I was blind. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. How do I want to be treated?
Am I a toy? Am I a piece of meat? Am I a convenience? Am I a break from the world? Am I a friend when it suits the need? Am I entitled to feel, to express? I so want to express myself, but I end up doing and saying things that are completely out of character. I’m too scared to express, because I’m scared to lose.
I know that I’m not myself right now. I feel different. I feel isolated. I’m not scared to be alone anymore. This is what I feel I will be. Am I entitled to love again? I am in love. I have uttered those words, but they are rejected every time. Is that right?
Please tell me. World, please give me a sign. Free me from myself. Give me a purpose
Similarities drew us together
A drawing in pencil
A picture of two
We shared, we laughed
We drew closer
I wasn’t looking for love
Only understanding
I wanted not to be judged
I wanted to find myself
I longed to be free from pain
So much pain
When I gave up, you didn’t
When you gave up, I didn’t
I looked at you
The picture changed
A drawing in pen… of you
On my body
My heart
My soul
My fingers trace the inked lines on your body
My heart sees the cuts on your heart
My soul feels the pain in your soul
I let you draw on my body with yours
I feel you imprint love on my heart
I let you paint my soul with hope
How beautifully you use the brush
You colour my world
Meaning
I search for meaning
I struggle to pin point
The exact moment I knew
But still I know
We are attached to moments
Moments of pure bliss
Moments of agonizing torture
In the middle, the eye of the storm
Why the eye?
Can we see it coming?
Perhaps the third eye
What do I mean?
To whom do I mean?
What will be said when I’m gone
Life doesn’t stop
Time passes slowly in the present
Fast in the past
And still meaning has no time
Or does time have no meaning?
Caught in the eye
I long for the storm
He goes through the motions and watches the pleasure on your face
As a friend
Afterwards he turns his back not wanting to cuddle
As a friend
When you wake up he does it again
As a friend
When you leave he hugs you at the door
He doesn’t walk you to your car or watch you leave
Not even as a friend
You text when you get home
You tell him how much it meant to you
He doesn’t respond and distance himself
As a friend?
The moon dictates the tides
She can not help
He draws her tight
Ebbs and flows
She can not help
She falls in love
Waiting patiently
To see him at night
But the moon goes dark
For many nights
Then slowly turning bright
She feels so much.
The tides arise
Her feelings; shooting stars
Meteors traveling in the night
Crashing into the moon mid flight
He has no defenses
He’s vulnerable too
She: bound by the gravitational pull
He: bound to be distant and cold…
Only men walked on the moon
What can she do?
She cries and cries
Salty water to expel
How long will it take?
She doesn’t know
But sorrow for now
Is her only home
For he is the moon
And she is the sea
Never meant to be
I walk, I talk, I live
And yet, I’m sleeping
The real me, sleeps under a cover of darkness
My life is a dream;
short glimpses of reality
I remember my dreams
They shock me.
How can I be so different?
How can I be so selfish?
In my dreams I am self-centered
Focused on my pain, my regret
There is so much to gain from others
When I’m me I’m kind and loving
Joyful and happy
Easy to please and a pleasure to be around
But the dream takes over
It’s the face of a black dog
How many people have I pushed away?
How would they know it’s my nightmare?
Not me that they see and speak to?
I want to awake from this dream
Before life passes me by and I lose
Awake, speak the truth; be true to myself
Think before speaking
Speak with love
I want to be proud of myself
When I’m sleeping, wake me up
New Beginnings 