New Beginnings

Emotional roller-coaster of love and lust


Cavern of life



Hand like chisels

Shaping the rock face

Corroded by sheer cussedness

Chafed and cracked


Limb like stalactites

Minerals leaked from pores

Reaching out

Forming new tunnels


Feet like rivers

Crawling along the bottom

Running through the middle

Looking for escape


Body like space

Quiet and aware

Fault lines of energy

Carrying the air


Mind like presence

Five ways enhanced

Twenty-one grams of unknown

Highway of thoughts











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You make me feel safe

Not from the world

From within

You open yourself

You share yourself

I didn’t ask

You can’t help it

Our souls are the same

We are bound by more than love

We understand without words

You are beautiful to me as I am to you

You love my imperfection

I love the way you express yourself


Safe I know I’ll be

In your loving arms, I’ll see

What love can be




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Friendship was just an illusion…with a benefit

You lied to me, no set communication boundaries

Your reflection of your own behaviour, another waiver


Did you provoke a lie?

Why do you hide behind your lie?

Something more or something less, I guess

I walk the way I choose, you lose

Alone…my journey

I live not a lie


If ever there comes one

Never false, I will give way to what’s true

Unlike you

Winter fell upon my soul

I’ve found me, I am free

I am leading now, not blind


In your shame you will cry

Drop your hand, and live your lie


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I long to be free
Free from this black drape
Free from the constraints

I put them there
They are wrapped tight
Suffocating, restricting… Me

I cut into my skin
I feel the pain
It helps for a minute

Then it’s back
The blackness inside me
Making my insides turn
Like the time life told me

I’m going to be sick
The anxiety tearing holes
On the inside

I take a drug to replace life
To stop myself from feeling
Still not free

If I’m left free to feel
I will die
Freedom is feeling

And I can’t be allowed to feel
No way of coping
No way of changing
That which life told me

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Likely to have an unfortunate outcome. That is my love life. Doomed. I have given up on love. I truly have. I’ve been listening to a song from Bring me the Horizon called Doomed. It’s me. That’s how I feel. Men are vampires. They can have my heart. But they will never have me. Not the person I am. No opening up anymore. No sharing of thoughts or feelings.

It’s done.

This girl is gone

A gone girl

Raped, hated, mistreated

I dare you; try

To win my love

You will struggle

Like a fish out of water

You see

I once was

I once loved

I once felt

Now, what you see is what I am

Skin and bones



Cut off my wings and come lock me up Just pull the plug yeah, I’ve had enough Tear me to pieces, sell me for parts You’re all vampires so hereYou can have my heart

The world’s a funeral, a room of ghosts
No hint of movement, no sign of pulse
Only an echo, just skin and bone
They kick the chair but we, we help tie the rope

You can have my heart

So come rain on my parade
‘Cause I wanna feel it
Come shove me over the edge
‘Cause my head is in overdrive
I’m sorry, but it’s too late
And it’s not worth saving
So come rain on my parade
I think we’re doomed
I think we’re doomed
And now there is no way back

You must’ve made some kind of mistake
I asked for death, but instead I’m awake
The devil told me “No room for cheats”
I thought I sold my soul, but he kept the receipt

So leave the light on, I’m coming home
It’s getting darker, but I’ll carry on
The sun don’t shine, but it never did
And when it rains, it fucking pours
But I think I like it
And you know that I’m in love with the mess
I think I like it

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So I’ve reached my expiry date

Sooner than I thought

Quicker than I thought

More ruthless than I thought

Why do people take their own lives?

I can tell you.

I know why

Will I do it?

Never, for I’m not afraid to live

I have taken my risks, I’ve bared my soul

I don’t regret loving you

You however will come to realise

What you’ve lost

And that will hurt more

I feel sorry for you

You could have been so happy

But now you’ll never know

You’ve lost me forever and a day

Hope you enjoyed the ride

I have my uses, and you used me well

Now you can ride your next victim

Take care and move on

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Driving down a familiar road
Overwhelmed by a sense of loss
Another family I gave up
More loved ones lost

I have labeled my life to death
I have closed myself off to feel

The butterflies are dead
The excitement is gone

I no longer love, I only exist
Where you left me is where I’ll stay

My hope like a smothered candle
Only a wisp of smoke remains

I walk no more
I dance no more

I’m ready to be used again
I have some use left still

So take me now baby
See if you can use me still
Before you move on
To pastures new


You’ll never know


You’ll never know how much you hurt me

Even if I write it here

Even if I say it to your face

You’ll never know


You’ll never know how much I cried

When you weren’t looking

When you were thinking, only of yourself


You’ll never know how broken you left me

While you were playing

While you were experimenting



You’ll never know how much I care for you

Because you weren’t looking

Because you weren’t paying attention


You’ll never find another like me

You lost what you never knew you had