New Beginnings

Emotional roller-coaster of love and lust


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I long to be free
Free from this black drape
Free from the constraints

I put them there
They are wrapped tight
Suffocating, restricting… Me

I cut into my skin
I feel the pain
It helps for a minute

Then it’s back
The blackness inside me
Making my insides turn
Like the time life told me

I’m going to be sick
The anxiety tearing holes
On the inside

I take a drug to replace life
To stop myself from feeling
Still not free

If I’m left free to feel
I will die
Freedom is feeling

And I can’t be allowed to feel
No way of coping
No way of changing
That which life told me

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