New Beginnings

Emotional roller-coaster of love and lust

Calm

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Today I visited the coast. I hardly spoke today. Maybe a laugh here a word or two there. I spent the day contemplating. What I’ve become. How I’ve become.
The sea speaks to me. It’s the part of nature that makes me feel more alive than any person can.

And then, standing on that treacherous cliff top, looking down at the sea, relentlessly smashing into the side of the cliffs, I found my peace. My safe place.

I have not seen anything so beautiful since May. The sun ignited the grass and turned it into pure gold. The sea, the bluest of blue colour. The sound of waves crashing into rocks. The smell of the salty air, hitting my face and making my hair curl :). The warm feeling inside, contrasted with the cold on my cheeks. The taste of my tears as they touch my lips on their way down.

All five senses, in overdrive. I left a bit of myself there today. I threw down the cliff, into the sea. In return, I’m taking a lot of myself back home with me.

I am happy. I am free… free from wanting to be something I could never be. I only want to be me. Embrace myself. Live again. Without fear.

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