I had such a bad day at work today. I just started a new job and already I wonder if this new challenge is for me. It’s not so much the work as the isolation. I had many many dear colleagues where I worked before. I miss talking to them and just being myself.
I feel lonely too. Really lonely. It takes it’s toll on me. So I look for encouragement. From my friends, never my family as I can’t let them know I’m going through so much right now.
So, feeling really low I reach out to him and this is what he says.He has the ability to make me feel like someone again. To make me feel wanted and beautiful and without a doubt, hopeful that someone else could one day see me this way. These are his words. I write them here so I’ll never forget them and I can look back here and read them again and again when life makes me feel worthless, unwanted and sad.
“You are the most sensitive , caring, beautiful person I know. Over time I got to know you and love you and respect every fibre of your essence. I don’t have all the answers but in you I see the one thing you can’t. How beautiful your nature is. Your intelligence, your understanding. How you have loved, lost, cried, beaten yourself up. But how you’ve shown stamina & caring. You don’t have to torture yourself anymore. You struggle with your existence. Missing out on your Mum and Dad. Seeking perfection is not an option. But let me tell you this. You are the most dynamic and most beautiful of all I’ve ever met. My friendship is set in stone”
Thank you my friend. Thank you. You don’t know how much I need to know this and how much I need to start believing again. I need to pull myself from this pit. I have seen what hurt and regret and pain can do to a person. I don’t want to be like that. I want my soul to be well again.