New Beginnings

Emotional roller-coaster of love and lust


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It’s dark, it’s cold

I feel his heavy breathing on my back

I can’t breath, I am suffocating

I want it to stop…please god make it stop


I’m being torn to pieces

There is nothing I can do, nothing

My mind’s a blank, my body violated

Is this real?



It stops, I lie on the ground

Move your legs, get up

I struggle home, tears running down my face

Blood and fluids running down my legs


I lost my innocence, I am no more

I let the water run over my body

It washes the evidence away

Traces of him and me disappear down the drain


I try to sleep, I can’t

I sob, I cry, I want to rewind the clock

I’m alone, I’m ashamed

I deserve this, I know it


Days go by, years go by

I keep my secret…it’s mine alone

I am alone in that place of my mind

I never share myself and truly connect


Then twenty years go by

I connect with a man, a dangerous man

It’s new, It’s exciting

He promises me the moon and stars


I open up, I tell him my secret

He pretends to care, he tells me no man will hurt me again

I believe him, I trust him

I feel better sharing my secret


My mind has been opened

Maybe this is love

No…he rapes me, emotionally rapes me


My body and soul, both raped

Nothing hurts like this





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