I’ve had such a good week and I only made one conscious decision every day and that is, do not let your emotions control you.
Emotions are good at the right times, but being emotional all the time is just not healthy. I realized this the hard way. I’m at peace and I plan on staying here. When my thoughts run away with me, I real them back in.
The only constant is change. I never liked change, I feared it. Now I embrace it and allow it to excite me rather than scare me. Change is inevitable, both the changes we make in our lives as well as the ones that hits us like lightning, you don’t know when or where it will strike, but it will bring about change.
I have to say thank you to one dear friend that has opened my mind to recognize the deep seated root of my emotional anguishes and failed relationships. Not only has he revealed within me the hope that I might still find true love out there in the world, but also that I have so much to offer and so much potential. It takes a unique connection for one human being to open another in such a devastating, yet necessary way. I can honestly say that no therapy could have achieved what he did when I was at my lowest.
And so, a new chapter starts. One that I have no plan for. I’m not overthinking, I’m not analyzing. I’m going to be myself, love myself and appreciate every moment, even the bad ones, because life is indeed very short and before I know it, I’ll be gone. What I want people to remember about me is only one thing. She lived her life without fear. Fearless is the way I’m going to live. Fear only steals precious energy. Fear holds us back from finding out what we really want. Fear clouds the mind and keeps the potential locked inside. Fear has been added to my fuck-it list.