it was hard to become soft again
it was not easy turning it up
but here (hear) I am
ears in your hands
still I fear
for every time
I hold dear
I can’t hear
sing that song again
the one we heard
a long long time ago
i want to feel that way
with you
let me hear
I came across an old email by chance today. It brought back memories of a time lost; or that’s how it feels now…but can time really be lost? No. Every moment of my life brought me to where I am right now. Take any of it away and things won’t be exactly as they are now. How can you appreciate the warmth of the summer sun, if you didn’t endure and survive the bitter cold of the winter first?
it was winter when I first felt love again
my awakening new
but ’tis was not love
it was hope and promise
winter became spring
and spring, summer
sweet wind blew
and we were
scorched by the summer sun,
cooled by the autumn rain
a harvest of discontent
winter returned
and ruby blood stained the
bright white snow
snow melted slow and painful
little bits of me
melting away too
an echo remained
one from far away
a voice calling me home
home; place of rest
place of peace and comfort
place of safety
dwelling of tranquillity
a heart, bigger than mine
I met
I didn’t know…
I didn’t know
how could I?
is it always unexpected?
sweet spring blooms
in my heart
I want to cherish it
I want to hold it dear
a beautiful flower
unfolding in the warmth
of the loving sun’s arms
In you loneliness was my ward
So lovely was the loneliness
I never thought of looking
I walked from one moment
To the next
Life passing me by
Thinking that I was already
living
My inner child naive
Now, I taste life
I taste newness
Sweet on my tongue
I explore outside, once more
The trees, the flowers
As spring blossoms
My heart beats again
I sing inside
A song that no one
can silence
You were there at the beginning
You are there, still
Not realising
How much you mean to me
Don’t leave
Lets meet
Lets walk
Hand in hand
Heart in heart
How many times
do I contain you?
We stand face to face
Which way does the scale
tip
It is merely direction
What if one:one
is what we are
It is merely numbers
No instead let’s
fluctuate
It is merely
life
A bride, soft veil
I remember your wedding day
Pretty as a picture
Full of life and promise
And so a little family started
Three beautiful children
I hardly knew them
But we spoke and we shared
You were always happy
Twenty one years
The time for a child to earn adult passage
That’s how long you had before
the veil was lifted once more
This time, for a kiss goodbye
Rest sweetly my dear cousin
Your laughter now fills the heavens
Your sweetness now scents the air
I’m listening to the wind
they say it howls
but what if it sings?
I remember running
Feeling the wind play with my hair
Walking on a beach
The wind turning small grains of sand
into stinging insects
Thunder in the distance
No wind…calm…and then
the wind comes to life
it carries the smell of rain
Till you feel each sweet drop on your face
A face turned into the wind
Smiling, loving, cherishing
That, which no-one can control
The wind blows the dust away
It cleanses
A wind has swept through my soul
I believe in that which can not be seen
And yet…
The results are so visible
Unpredictable
Highly sensitive to initial
conditions
Chrysalis requires dark
Without darkness, no wings
no colour
And then
Chaos is the butterfly (effect)
Chaos makes me fly
Prediction, impossible
No random events required
No way of calculating
the result
accurately
Strange atractors
Strange repellers
He breathes life into me
Hot, fiery breath
I’m consumed by the flames
I love the burning, I want to burn
Desire takes control
I’m weak, no resistance
I go to a place of pleasure
Fireworks go off in my head
My body shudders
This is ecstasy
I try to draw him closer
He is only hot air
He has no heart
I try to reason with him
He has no mind
He is but an empty husk
The fire burns my soul now
It’s burning me away
My heart turns to ash
I have no heart left
I become a fire breather
You charm, you disarm
Everyone thinks you’re so kind
I fall under your spell
It’s the gateway to hell
I care, I even love
I lay myself bare
I give you my body, I open my mind
You say it’s not enough
I give you my heart
You say it’s a waste of my time
I try to leave, I’m in too deep
You show me just enough kindness
I hold onto the little bit of goodness
You refuse to believe
Instead you retreat
You recoil; you lift my hand from your body
Like it’s dirty
You refuse to kiss me, I even beg
You behave like a pig
I still love you
New Beginnings 