New Beginnings

Emotional roller-coaster of love and lust


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A picture…

It’s said, a picture paints a thousand words. Well, I don’t usually post pictures, personal pictures of me, or even pictures I’ve taken, but I thought that maybe it’s the only way I can “say” how happy I am right now.

I want to get back to writing again, so hopefully I’ll be overflowing with some more positive words in the near future. I do miss writing, a lot.

C u later…

Me happy


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I think

I think…

then that little detail
that little reality
that little act
that little lack
that little disinterest
that little word
that little silence
that little don’t care
that little reminder
that little meaning
that little difference
that little distance
that little affection
that little support
that little innocence
that little “what if”
that little conversation

becomes

big

bigger than it should
bigger than a thought


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If you can’t then..

I went out exploring with my kid yesterday and discovered the most beautiful forest, a pond filled with waterlillies and the old ruins of what looked like pretty big estate from centuries ago.
I started thinking how amazing the world can be right under our noses.

How come it took me ten years to discover this place? I believe that we see what we want to see, or better yet, we see what we expect to see. This is how things are missed. We reach points in our lives where we think, this is it, it doesn’t get any better, or I have found what I’m looking for. But today I implore you, rather think, there is more to discover; my little world is small and I haven’t seen the rest of the world. Think big, look for the small, the inconspicuous, the hidden. This is where the adventure begins 🙂

P.S. In my opinion, scenes like this started the impressionist art form.

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Nothing lasts

 

our bodies wasting away
till every step we stray

our minds slowing down
till there’s just a laughing clown

our hearts beating harder
till it becomes larder

our hands holding tight
till we lose our sight

our love blooms like a spring flower
till winter makes us cower

our passion knows no bounds
till it’s killed by the hungry hounds

our lives ebb and flow
till the fires no longer glow

our spirits soar
Nothing can kill it’s roar

our souls are a mystery
therein lies our history
it can’t be changed
it lasts forever


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I didn’t know

I came across an old email by chance today. It brought back memories of a time lost; or that’s how it feels now…but can time really be lost? No. Every moment of my life brought me to where I am right now. Take any of it away and things won’t be exactly as they are now. How can you appreciate the warmth of the summer sun, if you didn’t endure and survive the bitter cold of the winter first?

it was winter when I first felt love again
my awakening new

but ’tis was not love
it was hope and promise

winter became spring
and spring, summer

sweet wind blew
and we were
scorched by the summer sun,
cooled by the autumn rain

a harvest of discontent

winter returned
and ruby blood stained the
bright white snow

snow melted slow and painful
little bits of me
melting away too

an echo remained
one from far away
a voice calling me home

home; place of rest
place of peace and comfort
place of safety
dwelling of tranquillity

a heart, bigger than mine
I met

I didn’t know…
I didn’t know
how could I?

is it always unexpected?

sweet spring blooms
in my heart
I want to cherish it
I want to hold it dear

a beautiful flower
unfolding in the warmth
of the loving sun’s arms


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the way you make me feel

 

love, passion, want, feeling complete, feeling cherished and special

I went out Friday night, dinner and dancing. Bottle of red, cocktails, happy drunk. I don’t drink often. I also know my limits. Happy drunk is the perfect point between too little and too much 🙂

Kissing in a dark corner of the club. Dancing to 90s rock and singing along to songs from my younger days, till I had no voice left. Just a big happy smile.

How I longed to be with someone that will take me dancing. I love dancing, I love music.

And I found him. Tall, big, manly man that makes me feel tiny in his arms. Twirling me, dipping me, kissing me, loving me.

Lazy Saturday, sleeping, cuddling, just being. Laughing… a lot! Every time he makes me laugh, I want to melt into him. The way he holds my stare for minutes on end. Beautiful brown eyed boy with perfect lips, perfect nose. I see the love in his eyes. I feel the love in his kiss. He makes me feel sensual, sexy, alive. How I wish I could bottle this feeling. I’d be a millionaire.

Amor vivam 🙂