How little did I understand. Did I really forget so easily? How simple it is to be happy? From within, with myself. Wonderful, Beautiful, Gorgeous

That is me and nothing and nobody can change that – should be allowed to change it.

It’s been said so many times, but it’s true. The secret is to find that happy inside. Others compliment and enrich my life, but I am back in control. No longer out of control. No longer outside, looking in, shaking my head.

I had a very emotional counseling session a week ago. Not because I had to relive the hurt and pain. No, because I remembered what I used to be like, felt like. The innocence. The naive sweet dreams I had. The trusting smiling young girl. Innocence that was lost, in one moment. I lingered here. Crying. Crying once again. Then she said, you are brave. And I realised – I am. Damn straight I am! I’m a fighter for goodness sake!!

I have no doubt that life will keep challenging me. I wouldn’t expect anything less. But I’m ready. I’m standing on my own two feet. No longer seeking others to depend on, to trust, to keep standing.  And yes, I will need my friends, and I will seek their comfort; for true friendship is a rare and beautiful thing. True acceptance of another human being is a gift. I love my close friends. They are a part of me as much as my family is. They know me inside out. They accept me. My darkness and madness. They cherish me for my kindness, loyalty and honesty. I treasure them for their inner beauty and uniqueness, for making me smile, for enriching my life.