New Beginnings

Emotional roller-coaster of love and lust


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Just when I think I know,  I have another sobering moment tonight. I have learned yet again that assumption is the mother of all f**kups. I don’t like to swear on my blog, but this is what my very first manager and mentor used to say to me. And boy, was she right.

Have you ever thought someone was beautiful, young, full of life and promise? You look at her and think, I wish I was her? You assume that she is this perfect creature. Until you see what’s underneath all of it. I assumed I was the loser in many ways.

My view of the world is that no person is better than another. No matter what your class, colour, religion or upbringing. I don’t think I’m better than anyone. In fact I see my faults, I know them well. We all need to breath to live. We shall all die. We are unified by this.

We can’t all like each other. It’s impossible. Diversity is the spice of life. We all have our pasts and our stories and moments that made us what we are. Events that formed us, molded us. No person can claim to truly know another. We have thoughts that will always remain just that. Our thoughts alone. I write about my hurt and thoughts on here, but I can assure you, you only see a part of me. This is not all of who and what I am.

A lot of people try to control others. And when they do, they have power. I know when one person in a relationship has more power than the other, it is set to fail. A relationship is a partnership. Co-pilots.  I know that a lot of woman and men are weak. They don’t believe in themselves, so they are easily controlled by others. Sometimes they know they’re allowing it, sometimes they are blissfully unaware. Some thrive on it because growing up and taking control of their lives is just too difficult or they don’t posses the life skills to do it so they seek the controlling partners out.

Tonight I learned yet again not to assume. That things may appear to be perfect, when in fact, they are far from it.

I am humbled and grateful for the person I am. Not because I think I’m better. Because I don’t seek to control or be controlled.




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