New Beginnings

Emotional roller-coaster of love and lust

Better

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Today I’m feeling better. So much better. What I write; it’s a way of getting rid of my bad. My worst. I lay it down on the paper and it leaves me. It’s like a fire escape. Before the fire consumes me, I let it burn onto the paper.

I met with a close friend tonight. I’ve known her for three years. She is the most beautiful amazing lovely person. I love her so. I was telling her about my week. The ups and downs. More downs than ups. She listened and looked at me and said. I’ve just realised something about you that I never realised before. You don’t do anything in half measures. You do everything to the full. You love to the full, you feel everything to the fullest and then you fall in the worst way one can fall. She asked me if it didn’t scare me or even scare others that I feel so much, so intensely. I never realised this either. Maybe I scare people. She said she had never experienced anyone like me, ever. I’m so different.

What if I scare people…Is that my problem? How did I become like this? An extremist in a way. I am a very passionate person. Maybe it’s my star sign. Aries are known for their passion and fire. Have I been pushing people away with this behaviour? Do I overwhelm others? Do I need to change?

These are the questions that pop into my head. Should I really change for others’ sake? Or just reel myself in?

I have no idea. Who has all the answers? No-one does. For now, I can only be the person I am. You will either understand me or you won’t. But know this. If I have your back, you know you’re covered. I will lay down my life for the ones I love. I will fight and protect them as far as I can. I will be there when you need me. I won’t think twice. It’s who I am.

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