The past rears its ugly head when I’m weak

It wants to swallow me whole

I’m fighting forever fighting

Denying, how long will I deny myself

I forgot so much of the good, but the bad is vivid

Every day I run, trying to pretend, trying to free myself

Painted black, I’m black of the blackest ocean

The darkness of the past like a black hole consuming the light

I want to stop, I want to collapse, I want to give up

Strength from somewhere good still keeping me afloat

I long to be free from my past